The Ball of Yarn and Identity Unraveling

This past week, I assigned my students a This I Believe essay, one where they asserted a core value and told stories about the process of learning that value. I have read some really wonderful, impactful, and inspiring essays written by 17 and 18 year olds who know themselves already and what they will and will not stand for. What I didn’t realize is that they would inspire me to assert my own belief, one that has been stirring in my heart for months.

As their teacher, I walked the fine line between giving them examples of my own beliefs and empowering them to find their own. I did give them one example that I felt very confident in telling them: I believe (very strongly) that your social media presence doesn’t define your worth. The sad part about this assertion, though, is I have never quite articulated this point to you or realized it myself until very recently. It has been a hard lesson to learn.

Three years ago, I started a blog. I wanted to share my love for fashion and style on a budget, and as a stay-at-home mom living over 5 hours away from anyone I knew at the time, I had minimal communication with the outside world aside from social media and the blog. I was in the thick of raising an infant and a three year old. When my friends and family told me they read my posts and enjoyed them, it was enough. I felt great pride in being able to articulate what I wanted to say and helping others find budget-friendly wardrobe staples.

But somewhere along the way, my pride in a small audience fell away, and the desire to be seen, accepted, and liked by thousands overcame the process. Here’s how it unraveled:

My identity got entangled with my number of followers and likes on Instagram.

Buying something new that I didn’t need became a way to assert myself as a style blogger, to prove to you that I was on trend. But spending money on things for me meant I wasn’t always protecting my family’s financial well-being.

I don’t have anything new to wear, but even though I’m wearing a really cute outfit, I will not post it on social media because you can’t outfit repeat in the world of Instagram.

Having a new and pretty blog “like them” will result in more followers. So I dropped $300 to make it happen.

Being a member of the Like to Know It group on Instagram will legitimize me as a style blogger. One problem? I was rejected. Twice. It felt like not being invited to that really cool party or something. Ick.

Not selling enough LuLaRoe to meet my business and financial goals meant I was a failure and that I wasn’t working hard enough or worse? I was falling out of favor with my favorite shoppers, ones I would consider to be social media friends, as we interact daily.

I have done more soul (identity) searching at age 34 than I ever did at age 18 when I was mapping out my adult life. I’m in the process of unraveling this convoluted and confusing ball of yarn my priorities have become and slowly starting to realize where my priorities lie. This time, though, it’s happening OFF social media and with God’s help and the gentle guidance of the Holy Spirit, which I have often unintentionally ignored due to the lack of quiet and stillness in my life.

I have also had great teaching along the way. I highly recommend Havilah Cunnington’s podcast series. I am trying to live out her teaching tied to God’s promises. One call to action she gave recently is to do the last thing God called you to do, not focusing on if you’ve missed God’s call on your life RIGHT NOW. It does bring me peace to remember what He has called me to do in the past and walk toward those duties in confidence.

Brene Brown is another teacher of mine…funny how someone you have never met seems to speak directly in to your life!

Her podcast on living a wholehearted life prompted me to start reading her book The Gifts of Imperfection. I have often wrapped my identity around being seen as perfect (or projecting perfection) in little ways (posting the perfectly filtered Instagram #ootd pic instead of the one where I look crazy pale or my dog ran in and posed) and big ways (not being truthful with myself in order to downplay my faults, hoping no one else would see them, either). But perfectionism has been a pillar of my identity for so long, and it’s hard to gaze into the perfectionist process and see such unhealthy behaviors.

As Brene Brown so eloquently said in her podcast with Oprah (and I’m paraphrasing)…Perfectionism is the ultimate fear. Perfectionists are afraid the world is going to see them for what they really are. It’s 20-ton shield. We think it’s protecting us from being hurt, but it prevents us from being seen.

What’s ironic is that I’m seen by over 3,000 people for my clothing business and over 2,500 on social media. But I’M not SEEN. A projection of whom I want you to see is SEEN.

I’ve been a perfectionist all my life in an attempt to minimize my deep emotions. If I’m focused on completing this or that task to perfection, then I don’t have to deal with the deep emotions I feel. In reality? Perfectionism has hindered my spiritual growth as a feeler. In taking Havilah’s Prophetic Personalities quiz, I learned that part of my identity that I have literally loathed for so long (being so emotional) empowers me and allows me to connect directly to God.

Brene Brown also said this in her book: “Trying to…win over someone…is always a mistake because you’re trading in your authenticity for approval. You stop believing in your worthiness and start hustling for it” (34-35).

I can no longer project a self that isn’t authentic. So if that means I blog infrequently, so be it. If that means I lose followers on Instagram daily because I refuse to keep up with the daily grind (and might I add STRIFE AND STRESS?!) of outfit posting, then OK. It is more important to me to live with peace in my heart and a firm understanding of who I am.

The Five LuLaRoe Styles I’m Constantly Reaching For

I have been purchasing, wearing, hunting, styling, selling, living, breathing LuLaRoe for over a year. It’s no secret to you that I love LuLaRoe. But what may be a secret to you, dear reader, is the list of five styles I grab most often when I get dressed in the morning. So I thought a post about what styles I personally wear most frequently would give you a little insight into the methods behind my madness and help you decide which styles will work best for your lifestyle. This post is to also combat the whole LuLaRoe looks like pajamas idea that is floating out there, which I think is totally absurd!

As many of you beautiful people know, I am a full-time high school English teacher and mom of two, so the pieces I’m about to highlight just simply fit my lifestyle and the occasions I dress for!

So, here we go…in no particular order…

The Sarah Cardigan

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I have been a solid cardigan addict for about 12 years (ever since I started teaching). I love layering because it’s one of the easiest ways to create interest in your outfit. And from one cardigan addict to another, the Sarah is THE BEST. Bottom line. The pockets, the length, the quality…and since I live in central Illinois, I am wearing cardigans at least eight months out of the year and even more often if I’m in air conditioning. Believe me when I say that you won’t find many cardigans out there like the Sarah for all of the above reason and more. And one final note…it’s a piece that I can literally wear for any occasion…teaching, church, date night, hanging out with kiddos, running errands. Well worth the investment.

The Joy Vest

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I wear a ton of neutrals that need a little extra oomph, and that’s what the Joy vest provides my wardrobe. I love printed ones and solid ones. The length helps to elongate and slim my frame, which is also an added bonus. I love how unique this piece is as well…a lot of stores sell long vests, but most of them are over-the-top (with excessive fringe or something) and not classic for an everyday look like the Joy. Again, just like the Sarah cardigan, the Joy is on heavy rotation for any occasion really!

The Classic Tee

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I may blog about style, but in all reality, I love a tee and jeans combo. Kinda boring, right? Well, the Classic Tee is great with jeans but also with skinny trousers, a pencil skirt, or knotted over a Carly dress for a fun casual look. I have told you all many times in my posts that I don’t have time for clothes that I can’t wear in multiple ways! The Classic Tee is honestly one of the most versatile pieces LuLaRoe offers, in my humble opinion.

The Cassie Skirt

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As one who carries her weight in her bottom half, I was actually pretty skeptical of the Cassie skirt when I first tried one over a year ago. And I was pleasantly surprised, like I can wear a pencil skirt AND be comfy at the same time?! Mind blown…

I wear this one casual with my favorite band tee or to work or anywhere, really…are we seeing a theme yet? Depending on how it’s styled, I think LuLaRoe can be worn most anywhere! It’s all in the execution!

The Carly Dress

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The Carly has been a lifesaver for me this summer because in all honesty, shorts give me huge self-esteem issues!! I wish it wasn’t true, but alas…it sadly is. My number one body insecurity is my legs. They do not have much shape other than SOLID, and yeah. I could write an entire blog post on that issue, but going back to the Carly…I love how in the summer, I can throw on a Carly and not sweat to death AND avoid the inner turmoil that comes with wearing shorts. The Carly can literally go anywhere, again, when executed/accessorized for the given occasion!


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I would call the Amelia the sixth man on my “wardrobe team.” I love this dress for work, a job interview, a wedding, an upscale dinner, even church, though my church is a little more casual in dress. The pockets are everything, and the silhouette is one of my favorites (fitted at the top, flaring out from the hip area).

So there you have it…THOSE are the pieces that I keep on heavy rotation all throughout the year. They work very well in unison with the other non-LLR in my closet for my lifestyle and the occasions I dress for. If you would like to shop for your own LuLaRoe, join me HERE!

Affordable + Cute Eyeglasses…An Actual Thing Now

So about a month ago, I had to get an eye exam. My eye doctor told me my vision had actually improved since last year and that improvement happens quite a bit when people reach their mid-30s. My first thought was wait. What the heck?! I’m not in my mid-thirties! But alas, I think I am, as I just turned 34. I was thinking I had until age 35, but…

So the hunt for a new pair of glasses officially commenced.

Now I would like to preface this post by saying I only wear glasses at night, when I’m having an allergic reaction (I’m highly allergic to horses and cats…totally not nerdy at all), or my eye is irritated in some way. In other words, I wear my daily contacts 95 percent of the time.

I was actually both relieved and annoyed to have to get new glasses. I say relieved because I bought a $300 pair of glasses at Lens Crafters last year that looked super cute on in the store, but when I got them home and actually wore them, I felt like they aged me approximately 15 years! When I wore them to school one day last year, one of my sweet junior high students said, Wow. You look…different. HA. I say annoyed because I just spent $300 on flippin’ ugly glasses last year, and for someone who doesn’t wear glasses often, it’s just that: an annoyance. I use my vision insurance to help offset the cost of my contacts each year, so I am usually paying out of pocket for glasses. But I knew I needed to find a MUCH more budget-friendly alternative.

I remembered Kelly Robinson (@hellorobinsonstyle on Instagram – sweetest tall mama ever – you need to follow her) mentioning Zenni Optical awhile back. I visited their website and found TONS of options I loved. I ordered two pairs because I always get sick of wearing just one…I was tempted to order three or four but wanted to try them out first.

I spent all of last night and today wearing them. And I am pleasantly surprised with the quality and “on-trend” factor with the glasses I picked. Now granted, they are not the quality I would get from Lens Crafters (my frames are not incredibly thick and durable), but each pair cost me less than $12, so I’m not going to complain too much!

HERE are the black square frames I chose. I have wanted a pair of hipster-looking glasses for awhile, and I’m about three years late to the party, but these are my favorite.

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Now please appreciate that I took a close-up selfie just for you. My selfie skills are MAJORLY lacking, and close-ups are scary.

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HERE are my fun pink cat-eye ones. I thought a pop of color in my glasses would totally work with my neutrals-heavy wardrobe, but this morning, my husband and kids called them my silly glasses, sooooooo there’s that. I like them, though. I think they’re fun and unexpected!

Here are some of my suggestions for you before ordering from Zenni Optical:

  1. Know what glasses shape looks best on your face (rectangle, cat eye, etc.). My face looks best with a cat eye shape, so that helped me narrow down my options. There is a “try on” option on the website where you can upload a selfie to see what the glasses would look like on you, but I was never able to get it to work to scale. That’s why I suggest knowing ahead of time what style/shape works best for your face.
  2. Have a paper copy of your prescription handy AND contact the last place you purchased glasses to get your pupil distanceIt was very easy to enter the numbers from my eye exam, but the one thing I didn’t have on the piece of paper my eye doctor gave me was my pupil distance. Since I just purchased a pair of glasses one year ago, it was very easy to call Lens Crafters to get my pupil distance. If you don’t have the number, Zenni Optical actually has a little ruler you can print off the website and use to help you figure it out!
  3. Really consider the frame colors and how they will jive with your existing wardrobe. I got black frames because DUH…you knew that was bound to happen because I wear black on the daily. But for a little fun, I went with a pink frame. So be sure to think about your wardrobe and how your new glasses would fit in as a cute accessory.
  4. Think about how often you really wear glasses. Zenni Optical has frames that are more expensive (and probably better quality) than the ones I purchased, and you have several different options with lenses, too. But like I said before, I went the cheapest route because I just don’t wear glasses all that often. Why spend the money if you don’t need to?

The verdict? I will DEFINITELY order from Zenni Optical again. I am very happy with the overall price I paid (with shipping, $31.25 for two pairs of glasses) and what I received in return!

Fingerprints and the Authentic Self

I had to get fingerprinted yesterday.

It was for my job, of course. I will be teaching at a new school this fall (my sixth in 11 years).

My two tag-alongs (new readers: I am Mommy to five-year-old Jackson and three-year-old Johanna) were also along for the ride, and they watched in awe as my fingers were scanned by a machine and magically appeared on a computer screen.

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I had to carefully and discreetly document a time they weren’t arguing.

FingerprintsOne unique quality that makes me “me” and you “you.”

I have spent a lot of my summer “break” (break is in quotes because being a mom who is home full-time in the summer is harder than working a full-time job in a lot of ways…let’s be honest) thinking. And a lot of the unhealthy kind.

See, we who put ourselves out there on social media to attract a following (readers, potential customers, etc.) are always told don’t do this or try not to do that. I have spent a lot of time just sitting with floods of negative thoughts about what I’m not. But it is now time to pinpoint and focus on what and who I am. It’s time to put those blinders on and have tunnel vision.

Social media breeds unpleasantness if we let it, but the benefits of it are immeasurable, when used in a healthy way. And personally? My brain is so used to multi-tasking at a high-octane level for nine months out of the year, so unfortunately, when I’m bored in the summer, I check my social media accounts and see this person vacationing or that person with 40,000 followers. Why did I lose this many followers? Why don’t I have “Swipe Up” capabilities on Instagram? (HA HA. But why, though?) Totally ridiculous thoughts that do not matter in the big picture. It’s time for me to zoom out and actually live and see that bigger picture.

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Real life…family picture preparation.

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And there we go…

I have hesitated to go my own way with my blog or social media accounts in fear of losing readership, followers, and steam in my LuLaRoe business. But what’s worse? Living in this perpetual state of indecisiveness and inaction due to said indecisiveness.

So let me start fresh. HI. I’m Heather Lindenmeyer. I’m shedding the Rock, Style, Teach blog name because it was great for a season but doesn’t necessarily reflect all of who I am or what I’ve become. Let me share some facts about me that I don’t talk too much about.

1. My faith is important to me, and I have not written about it out of fear that I will come off as “preach-y” or even worse “judge-y.” But I want you to know that Jesus gives me strength to meet the demands of my everyday life (mothering two small children, working full-time, and owning a small business).

2. A lot of my life I have sought approval from others and have felt all out of whack when I wasn’t receiving it.

3. I really love fitness (especially running), but I don’t share too much about it on my blog or social media because I’m afraid of being annoying.

4. I have dated my husband Jordan for almost 17 years, and in early August, we are going on our first vacation (just the two of us) since 2006. ALL THE PRAISE HANDS.

5. I wrote a blog post at the beginning of the summer about teachers surviving the summer, and I mentioned fixing yourself up and why it’s good to do that (in some capacity) daily. The truth? I had good intentions in following that principle, but that all went downhill starting in about mid-June. HA. I can barely keep up in posting regularly on Instagram because my everyday summer look is way boring. And by boring, I mean workout clothes or sweatpants.

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I’m sorry I told you that. Go back to wearing no make-up and sweats and carry on…

6. About three weeks ago, my best friend made me join the local YMCA because she knew what was best for me, and that alone time I have to exercise (especially when my husband works long hours – the YMCA provides child care) has radically improved my life. It was not a suggestion. It was a “you’re doing this,” and I thank her every day for it. Everyone needs a best friend like that.

7. I really want to be a vulnerable writer, but I think there is an extremely fine line between being vulnerable so others can connect with your authenticity and revealing too much at the expense of your heart AND the ones you love the most.

8. I actually believe LuLaRoe pairs beautifully with non-LulaRoe pieces. I also think LuLaRoe has made shopping approximately 1 billion times easier on moms because have you ever tried to take two small children to an actual store? (Never take them to Ulta. Just don’t.)


9. I make sure all of the minivans and SUVs are out of sight before I take my blog photos. One time, one of my neighbors walked his dog right in front of my house while I was mid-pose, and I was way embarrassed.

10. I don’t know why my kids don’t understand the concept of quiet time. But when I’m apart from them, all I can think about is their sweet little laughs.


What has been missing for me (for quite some time) on my blog is the freedom to write posts that feel right to me, that challenge me to grow as a writer and bare just enough of my soul that feels good to me. My life is much richer than being on trend and in style. My life is much richer than the number of followers I have on social media. I am grateful for each and every one. What is important to me is to be my authentic self and not so much about how many like my authentic self. Sounds like wisdom from a 17 year old, right? A little sad I’m admitting these things at age 34? Well, when you have lived a life where you have constantly sought approval from others, you may understand.

My competitive, go-for-broke, never-settle mindset has helped me and hindered me quite a bit. And right now, a refocus is needed. Let me leave you with something I’m mulling over and putting into practice: When you are so focused on the beauty in someone else’s existence, growth, success, whatever…you fail to see the beauty in your normal. The world needs what you have to give.

Updating Your Accessories Wardrobe for Back to School: My Favorite Jewelry Line

So if you follow me on Instagram, you know I just turned 34! And every year after my birthday, I get into full-on school mode. It’s like my kickstart to preparing for the upcoming school year. I first prepare my wardrobe (clothes, shoes, accessories) so I’m not getting upset that I don’t have anything to wear (#priorities).

I start by purging what I don’t wear anymore. But I have noticed that the pieces in my accessories wardrobe that have true staying power in my closet are Stella and Dot pieces. Now some argue that Stella and Dot pieces are pricey, but when I think about it, those are the pieces I’m still wearing years later. You get what you pay for in this case.

Many of you know I used to be a Stella and Dot stylist, but I decided last year that I wanted to focus solely on LuLaRoe. I still truly believe in the product and wear it all the time!

So in the spirit of accessory wardrobe updating, I thought I’d show you some of tried and true favorites!

My Staples


A quick browsing of my Instagram shows you that this is my go-to staple necklace. I have both gold and silver. I have worn this necklace for literally five years. It is so slimming and flattering and looks great with dresses, tops, anything really! I would totally pay this price for something I knew I’d wear for years! And I have!

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I reach for this gold fringe necklace all the time! It is my go-to gold statement necklace. I love it because it creates a statement but also looks very classy and sophisticated. I also like to layer a colorful necklace on top of it. This pink one is actually also a Stella and Dot piece that is not longer available, but that just shows you I’m still getting a ton of wear out of my older pieces!


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One of my favorite ways to add interest and edge to my look is through bracelet stacks. I absolutely LOVE the various options Stella and Dot has to vary shine, hue, and texture for a one-of-a-kind look in your arm party.

Here are some of my favorite bracelets to layer. These are ones I actually currently own:

Renegade Cluster Bracelet

Arrison Stretch Bracelet

Gilded Path Wrap Bracelet – Hematite

Illuminate Cuff

Addison Cuff


I don’t travel often anymore, but when I would stay in Illinois for the weekend when I was living in Iowa, this was my go-to bag! It unzips for even more room for more shoes or whatever your thing is that you overpack! I am planning on taking this bag to Vegas early next month. The print got me. It’s absolutely beautiful, not to mention well-made. I don’t buy travel bags very often, and I know this one will serve me well for years to come.

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I love this tote so much. The perforated detailing is on point, and I love the subtle touches of gold. This is a perfect size for a mom and would be a great option for work as well, depending on your job! When I go back to work, I will be carrying this one for sure!



I don’t have the need for too many clutches in my wardrobe, but when I need a clutch for date night or a wedding, this one has served me well. And I wear black all day, every day, so it’s the perfect color for me. But you already knew that!

And here are some pieces I’m hoping to add to my wardrobe!

My Wishlist

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Daytripper Bag – Black/Cream Stripe

I love this bag for teaching! Since I’m an English teacher, I will need a bag that zips so my papers aren’t constantly falling out. Most budget-friendly work totes do not hold up for me, and this one has definitely caught my eye!

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Signature Engravable Delicate Necklace – gold

I have wanted this one for at least a year. I am still trying to decide what I want engraved on it, but one idea I had is a meaningful Bible verse. Another idea is my kids’ initials (because they both have the same initials).

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Pave Triangle Path Ear Climber in Hematite

How fun are these? I typically gravitate toward studs, but I love the detail (and of course that they’re black…)

So many more things have caught my eye, and I am carefully making my wishlist! Will keep you updated!

Order Your Own

I have an online trunk show open right now if one or a few of these pieces have caught your eye. I would very much appreciate you shopping with me if you’ve found my tips helpful! Shop my link HERE. It will be open until August 3!

Tell me what you think! What Stella and Dot pieces are you loving right now?